Throne of Glass eBook ´ Throne of PDF or

This is a previously published edition of ISBN13 9781599906959After serving out a year of hard labor in the salt mines of Endovier for her crimes 18 year old assassin Celaena Sardothien is dragged before the Crown Prince Prince Dorian offers her her freedom on one condition she must act as his champion in a competition to find a new royal assassinHer opponents are men thieves and assassins and warriors from across the empire each sponsored by a member of the king's council If she beats her opponents in a series of eliminations she'll serve the kingdom for four years and then be granted her freedom Celaena finds her training sessions with the captain of the guard Westfall challenging and exhilarating But she's bored stiff by court life Things get a little interesting when the prince starts to show interest in her but it's the gruff Captain Westfall who seems to understand her bestThen one of the other contestants turns up dead quickly followed by another Can Celaena figure out who the killer is before she becomes a victim? As the young assassin investigates her search leads her to discover a greater destiny than she could possibly have imagined


10 thoughts on “Throne of Glass

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    Are you kidding me? What the hell is this shit? How do you screw up your story quite so badly after starting from an INCREDIBLE premise involving the most notorious assassin in the land now a slave being offered the chance to win back her freedom sort of in a to the death tournament fighting the most gifted thieves and assassins in the land says the back of my book conveniently forgetting that a right before the final duels the king specifically states that the competitors can win only by trapping their opponents in a position of sure death and no further so to the death my foot and b apart from thieves and assassins a number of the competitors are actually ex guards and random other criminals for the most part disposable enough not to warrant names and I'd only consider a small handful of them to be gifted at anything? I mean you really have to be TALENTED to go from all of that Exciting Sounding Awesomeness to well to Throne of GlassAfter reading the Q A included in the back of my book though it all started to make sense and I wish I'd known before buying this stupid ass book that it's inspired by DISNEY'S CINDERELLA of all things I know what you're thinking Where the fridge tart does Cinderella come in? Isn't this story about like a TOUGH AS NAILS former assassin now slave competing for her life in like the most badass tournament ever? Well actually no And I'm happy to spend the next few hours of my life quoting this most dumbass book if it means AT LEAST ONE PERSON might decide not to waste their money on it no need to thank me'Wake up Not surprisingly it was ChaolShe shimmied beneath the blankets pulling them over her head but he grabbed the covers and threw them to the floor Her nightgown was wrapped around her thighs Celaena shiveredIt's cold she moaned holding her knees to her body She didn't care that she had only a few months to beat the other Champions she needed sleep Nope this isn't your bratty kid sister but the most notorious assassin EVAH You know the one who after slaving away in the salt mines for four months was so desperate to escape that she even tried a mad suicide dash What the hell though they're only offering her her freedom It would have been nice if the Crown Prince had considered springing her from Endovier earlier so she could have some time to regain her strength how long had he known about this competition anyway? Sheesh I know right? Silly Crown Prince not considering the feelings of like one of the most terrible criminals his men have ever captured I mean he gives you large comfortable living quarters in his castle a billiards table a chance to change your life even a puppy and what he thinks this is enough? Get up Chaol ripped the pillows from beneath her head Now you're wasting my time If he noticed how much skin she was showing he didn't react That wasn't irrelevant at all Grumbling Celaena slithered to the edge of the bed dangling a hand over the edge to touch the floor Fetch my slippers she mumbled The floor's like ice Yeah put those servants in their place CinderellaFrom the doorway Chaol asked Why might I ask are you so tired?She gulped down the rest of the pomegranate juice and wiped her mouth on a napkin I was up until four reading she said' Why do you even have to ask Chaol? It's only the start of the tournament of Celaena's life of course she stayed up all night reading SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD YO If the competition barely merits any page time why should the competitors actually give a shit about it?'A few minutes later Celaena frowned at herself as she hurried after the captain into the foyer I look ridiculous These pants are absurd and this shirt is awful' Way to be descriptive Cinderella Generic complaints FTW It's not like you've been slaving in the salt mines for a year or anything like that OF COURSE YOUR CLOTHES MATTER and HOW DARE THEY? DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN??'You expect me to use a mace an hour after sunrise?' The horror'She bit into an apple It was tart with a sweet honey like aftertaste Oh? And what books do you love? He named a few and she blinked Well those are good choices for the most part What others? she asked and somehow an hour flew by carrying them on the wings of conversation' Jesus This paragraph isn't a pointless waste of space at all'There was something girlish about her too Oh he couldn't stand her contradictions' INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS Because my Chaol doesn't have a va jay jay 'Celaena bit down her laugh Archery? It was an archery contest?' Yeah that was my reaction too 'Pelor the gangly assassin wasn't yet strong enough to manage a longbow and barely made any shots When he finished his eyes gleaming with resentment the Champions sniggered and Cain laughed the loudestDespite herself Celaena felt badly for the boy His shots hadn't been that bad' Yeesh If barely making any shots isn't that bad I can see how CINDERBRAT is the world's scariest assassin'Why would she kill me? I think she likes being pampered snort If she hasn't attempted to escape or kill anyone then why would she do it now? He patted his friend on the shoulder You worry too much' ZOMG U NVR HERD OF BIDING UR TIME B4? This Crown Prince is clearly not the brightest crayon in the box'Sam What would he make of all this?' Since he's never been mentioned before I really can't say Sorry'Dorian peeled himself from the wall For all her assassinating experience she didn't notice him until he sat down on the bench beside her' Yeah I can see why she's Most Baddest Assassinator EVAH And who glued you to the wall anyway Crown Douche Bag?'No I can survive well enough on my own if given proper reading materialHe looked at the fire trying not to think about where she'd been only weeks before and what that kind of loneliness might have felt like There were no books in Endovier' I find it hard to believe that loneliness is your biggest problem when you're a beautiful seventeen year old girl slaving away in a salt mine but what do I know? A BOOK A BOOK MY KINGDOM FOR A BOOK'It wasn't until later that Philippa brought the news The Champion who hadn't shown up for the Test had been found dead in a servant's stairwell brutally mauled and dismemberedThe new murder cast a pall over the next two weeks and the two Tests they brought with them Celaena passed the Tests stealth and tracking without drawing much attention to herself or risking her neck to save anyone' When your plot's so boring that you're summarizing it all you've got a problem 'He remained in the doorway fearful that she'd wake up if he took another step Some assassin She hadn't even bothered to stir' I know right? Also you're a stalking stalker Crown Douche Bag'She smiled at the young chevaliers they passed and smirked at the court women who eyed her pink and white gown She couldn't blame them the dress was spectacular And she was spectacular in it' Bloody hell you'd think a year of slavery would knock the vanity right out of a girl 'The assassin pivoted around the table and took aim again She missed Gritting her teeth she considered snapping the cue in half across her knee But she'd been attempting to play for only an hour She'd be incredible by midnight She'd master this ridiculous game or she'd turn the table into firewood' Now now CINDERBRAT Temper tantrums are like so unbecoming'For the world's greatest assassin this is pathetic said Dorian stepping from the doorway' Because assassins are widely known to be proficient at billiards What you didn't know??'She had often wished for adventure' If you spend seven years as an assassin and somehow manage not to stumble headfirst into all sorts of adventures you're probably not doing it right'So she'd cheated a little but she'd won' LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HOLD ON TO YOUR SEATS WE'VE JUST HAD OUR FIRST GLIMPSE OF CELAENA ACTUALLY BEHAVING REMOTELY LIKE AN ASSASSIN And it's only page 240 'It had been over three weeks since her last encounter with Elena and she hadn't seen or heard her at all despite the three Tests she'd had the most exciting of which being an obstacle course which she passed with only a few minor scratches and bruises Unfortunately Pelor hadn't done so well and had been sent home at long last But he'd been lucky three other competitors had died All found in forgotten well obviously not that forgotten hallways all mutilated beyond recognition' The plot overload It's it's positively unbearable 'Amidst her worrying another Test passed without incident or embarrassment though she couldn't say the same for the soldier who'd been sent home and she kept up her intense training with Chaol and the other Champions' WOW So Much Story How can I process it all?'Candy A large paper bag sat on a pillow and she found that it was filled with all sorts of confectionary goodies There was no note not even a name scribbled on the bag With a shrug and glowing eyes Celaena pulled out a handful of sweets Oh how she adored candyCelaena issued a jolly laugh and crammed some of the candy into her mouthSomeone she said in between chews is very good to me' I just oh God I have no words D Cookie Monster strikes again?'Of course I want her Celaena said then realized what the implications would be But I want her trained I don't want her urinating on everything and chewing on furniture and shoes and books And I want her to sit when I tell her to and lay down and roll over and whatever it is that dogs do And I want her to run run with the other dogs when they're practicing I want her to put those long legs to useDorian crossed his arms as Celaena scooped up the dog That's a long list of demands Perhaps I should have bought you jewelry after all Hold your puppies Dorian CINDERDIVA STILL isn't doneWhen I'm training she kissed the pup's soft head and the dog nestled her cold nose against Celaena's neck I want her in the kennels training as well When I return in the afternoon she may be brought to me I'll keep her in the night Celaena held the dog at eye level The dog kicked her legs in the air If you ruin any of my shoes she said to the pup I'll turn you into a pair of slippers Understood?' Jesus Christ Is it bad that what I want is for someone to rend Celaena limb from limb? And why does she have a bunch of shoes anyway? Am I the only one who remembers that she's a fucking FORMER ASSASSIN NOW SLAVE?????????'Philippa huffed Just don't tell them I helped you when you get dragged back here' Sure because if Celaena says nothing they'll probably assume it was one of her other non existent maids who helped her navigate her way into her dress'Frowning Chaol watched his friend dance with the assassin He wouldn't have danced with her anyway And he was glad he hadn't worked up the nerve to ask her not after seeing the color that Duke Perrington's face turned upon discovering the pair' WTF is the author Chaol talking about? What actually happens five minutes prior to this is that Celaena asks him to dance and he says no Also this guy's kind of a wussy with a p for a Captain of the Guard He's never even killed anyone before Yeesh Captain of the Guard my foot' Cain was little than a pawn in a game to amuse the king ' That's what they keep saying but the king isn't even present in the castle for the majority of the competition so Oh one thing THE NAMES How the heck do you pronounce Chaol? Kale? Like the cabbage? And Kaltain Rompier has to be one of the stupidest names I've EVER come across It makes me think of frolicking unicorns or something As for the main character well I don't even know what to call her Selena? Kay lay na? that's the one I eventually settled on after spending half the book mentally mumbling her name I mean what in Erilea kind of a name is Celaena? Is it really any wonder that Nehemia eventually renames her? Other people get normal enough names such as Dorian and Grave and Sam and Elena and Xavier and Cain and Philippa and Verin and Ned simple names really I guess the special snowflake needs a special name to go with her very special personality impairment Don't even try to get me started on the place names because I tuned them out after Eyllwe so I have no idea how these countries lands coffee beans relate to one another but I'll probably liveAnd what is even the point of the glass castle? Or the non existent throne of glass that the book's apparently named after? Thinly veiled CINDERELLA references FTW If you ask me the author should have gone for Cinderella in Candyfloss Land because you certainly don't get much than that I don't even know what Celaena spends most of the second half of the book doing The tournament trials and murders are mentioned in passing here and there Yesterday we threw knives Another three people were eaten over the past three weeks and the book focuses on I don't know what Celaena sitting in her room Celaena fawning over herself in front of one mirror or another Celaena boasting about her amazing assassin skills that you'd otherwise never know she had Celaena going for walks Celaena admiring pouffalicious dresses Cinderella Celaena wishing someone would invite her to the ball Celaena eating sweets Evil King being evil and Frolicking Unicorn being high It's exciting stuff ReallyAlso since when do slaves have possessions? Why does some random slave who immediately gets murdered by some random people so yay for the Drama Llama have enough salve to pass around as required? Who makes this salve? From what? Who are these slaves allowed to associate with that they can procure salve? What do they trade for this salve? Their bodies? Their hair? Salt they've squirrelled away from the mines? Yeesh Explain yourself Sarah J MaasUGH Terrible terrible horrendous Nonsensical stupid pointless Fluffy pathetic ridiculous Need I say ? Really? Need I? Throne of Glass tries to emulate Poison Study and fails spectacularly Save yourself the torture and go straight for Poison Study If you've already read Posion Study read it again Or try Graceling Just don't say I didn't warn you