[BOOKS] ⚣ Danse Macabre (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #14) Author Laurell K. Hamilton – 91videos.co

Also See Alternate Cover Editions For This ISBN ACEACE These Days, Anita Blake Is Less Interested In Vampire Politics Than In An Ancient, Ordinary Dread She Shares With Women Down The Ages She May Be Pregnant And, If She Is, Whether The Father Is A Vampire, A Werewolf, Or Someone Else Entirely, He Knows Perfectly Well That Being A Federal Marshal Known For Raising The Dead And Being A Vampire Executioner, Is No Way To Bring Up A Baby


10 thoughts on “Danse Macabre (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #14)

  1. says:

    If you have ever considered reading the Anita Blake series up to this point, let me save you a bit of time, trouble, and heartache by giving you a plot synopsis of this book Don t worry, I won t spoil anything nor will I get into so much detail that it will be ruined.PLOT No, really, this book HAS no plot The blurb burbles about a vampire ballet, hints at a pregnancy for Anita, and dances around the topic of the ardeur, but nothing happens in this book Cover blurb author needs a RAISE OK, no, I m wrong Stuff does happen in this book If any one of the following is what you want when you pick up a book called Anita Blake VAMPIRE HUNTER 1 Women bashing.2 Talking whinging about a pregnancy and ignoring the real time problems of your best friend and proceeding to shame her into humiliation and say that SHE is the one who needs therapy.3 Metaphysical date rape sex that is used to power up individuals like a video game.4 Talking whinging about all the metaphysical sex unprotected, of course you have with the stripper boyfriends that fall at your feet and all the complicated relationships between all 7 of them.5 Evil overly sexualized, pyschotic b tchy women.6 Petty fights over the resident Mary Sue.7 Talking about brand new character s backstories while characters are in the nude or have just come out of the bath.8 Bad guys who do bad guy things like talk about how much of a bad guy they are.9 Talking about who should have sex with whom, when, where, why, and how, and whether that makes you a slut or not.10 Having sex with two new men because the ardeur says so when you already have six current boyfriends And everyone minus the unreasonable Richard is totes OK with being naked around all 6 men, being observed while having sex by all 6 men, or even being a part of a menage a trois with all 6 men.If THAT is what you were looking for when you opened up Anita Blake VAMPIRE HUNTER , then you are in luck The next 500 pages are full of the plotless meanderings of Anita Mary Sue and her Dancing Troupe of Greatly Endowed Male Sex Objects because Anita is so not into teh gay If you are like me, and you were kinda hoping to see, oh, I don t know, maybe a ZOMBIE RAISING or a crime scene or gasp a vampire execution, you might as well quit now while you re ahead Dance Macabre makes Incubus Dreams look like a tightly plotted masterpiece well, almost Danse Macabre is the poorest excuse for a novel that I ve seen in a long, long time well, since Incubus Dreams It s plotless, pointless, stupid, and insulting.Anita Sue remains the most unlikeable, worst protagonist I ve read She s rude to her friend, she s a hypocrite, she s demanding, she s sexist, she s a misogynist, she has a chip on her shoulder the size of Texas We spend nearly the entire first chapter Anita Sue whinging about her pregnancy to Ronnie, when all she needs to do is take 5 minutes out of her oh so hectic day between screwing every male in sight to get a pregnancy test Or gasp make an appointment with the doctor to be tested There is no reason why Anita Sue must dominate the ENTIRE conversation with her drivel.When Ronnie tries to talk about her feelings about Louis moving in and how she isn t sure she likes it, Anita Sue makes sure to let Ronnie know how inconvenient it is to talk about something other than Anita Sue s problems I ve got a really nice quote from her about Ronnie s penis envy that you can see in my early updates And she tells her friend that A Ronnie is just a jealous meanie who only wants to land in Nathaniel s pants and B Ronnie ought to get some therapy Because Ronnie is silly for not wanting to commit to Louis even though Anita won t commit to any of her 7 men and has no intentions of doing so Here lies Veronia Ronnie Sims, a once great character massacred by the hatred and vitriol of Laurell K Hamilton and her author avatar, Anita Sue May she forever rest in peace.Anita demands monogamy from her men, but she is allowed to sleep with whomever she wants If one of the men gets mad like Richard who is sleeping around himself , he is the one shown to be unreasonable God Forbid Richard sleep with multiple other women, even though Anita Sue is doing the very same thing with her 7 men Anita Sue also continues to hate on women, slut shaming the mistress of the Master of the City of Chicago because she s a real whore and insulting her intelligence by agreeing she couldn t see Augie having a scintillating conversation with her And any woman that isn t as masculine as she is is automatically evil Thea, Meng Die, etc.The exponentially growing cast composed almost entirely of males might as well be all the same person, given how little there is to distinguish them Richard yells at Anita Asher whines about not being fulfilled Nathaniel is a doormat except when he isn t Jason makes lewd comments Other than a couple of words, it s impossible to tell anyone apart Gone is Anita s day job Gone are Zerbrowski, Dolph, Burt, or anything resembling her normal life Instead of zombie raisings and at least an attempt at a paranormal mystery, we have lots and lots of vampire politics and new stupid rules, with Anita Sue constantly asking what is going on or for someone to explain something to her because she can t put two and two together It s astonishing how little Jean Claude, the man who has lived with the ardeur for HUNDREDS of years, knows about the damned thing every time we turn around, Anita Sue uncovers some new plot device that changes the ardeur into a new brand of metaphysical date rape drug.And don t be misled these sexual encounters are by and large NOT consensual Anita Sue doesn t want to have sex with Augie and Jean Claude because that turns her on no, of course not We can t have a thing like pesky female sexuality Instead, the ARDEUR forces her to have sex with them Only afterwards does she think she likes it The same for the scene with the new Interchangeable Male Genitalia added to her harem The same for the menage a trois with Nathaniel and Jason The same for sex with Asher They are done because someone needs to be healed or that stupid Damien must be saved the number of times Anita Sue has to have sex to save that stupid vampire is ridiculous or the ardeur has to be fed or the ardeur was called It s never because Anita Sue sees a guy and goes, Hot dayum, I want that man on me now and then gets permission to go ahead and do that.Do not even get me started on the pregnancy thing or the vampire ballet Those plots are laughable In one of the earlier Anita Sue books, they wouldn t have made even tertiary plots in this book, they are supposed to carry the story Both are done terribly both are disappointing and a waste of time.In some ways what makes this worse is LKH s atrocious writing Let me share some of the gems I found Hot anger can feel good, but the cold will protect you better Samuel s eyes were hazel, pale brown with an edge of greyish green around the pupil The green shirt brought out of the green, so his eyes were almost an olive green But they were definitely hazel, not true green But then I had high standards for true green eyes Samuel s eyes were just eyes Your feeding on Augie raised my power level the first bite of his power flickered through the room My life wouldn t work if I wallowed in every disaster, every moral quandary I can t afford the luxury of self doubt Followed quickly by Anita Sue showing self doubt in her life to the very person she made this comment to Don t yell at Micah I yelled at him I ll yell at whoever I want to yell at, Richard yelled Now that I was only minutes away from knowing, I wanted to know No guesswork I needed to know One way I the other, I needed to know What I didn t know was Let me be covered in your silken chains Tie me down and let me drown in your sweet flesh I touched my stomach, so nice and flat with all the exercise She is cold Jean Claude s voice, his hand moving away from my cheek Cold, yes I was cold So cold Cold down to the core of my being, as if I d never be warm again He fell into that kiss and spilled over the couch I made you both fall in love with me That s like evil If you made us fall in love with you but didn t love is back, maybe it would be evil, Micah said But you do love us back He tried for arrogant disdain But by far the worst has to go hands down to Richard made a sound, and it made me glance at him The look on his face made me look where he was looking And then there is the narrator, Cynthia Holloway I m sorry, but I just can t stand her Her voice is grating, she reads all the sex scenes in this ridiculously cheesy porn star breathy voice, and she cannot do an accent to save her life Jean Claude doesn t sound French in the slightest London wavered between the most cliched British accent to country western to faux French And most of the rest of the cast pretty much sounded exactly like each other which maybe, considering how interchangeable the cast is, was a stroke of brilliance.I am surprised that this book ever sold, in hardcover, in paperback, or at all well, I do get how fans might be duped into buying this and for those of you fans who paid for hardcover for this, I am so sorry This book is pure torture Did fans really want another plotless mess of a book that spent most of its time talking about sex and vampire political minutiae Did fans clamor for Anita Sue to acquire TWO MORE MEN to her Male DingDong Dance Card Were fans begging for Anita Sue to do fewer zombie raisings and spend time in her underwear or completely undressed having conversations about conversations about conversations I can t speak for them, but for me, this book made me LONG for the earlier books and the Anita Blake who would have taken one look at Anita Sue and popped her with her Browning.STAY TUNED Anita Blake BINGO


  2. says:

    I hate to say this, but I think I am done with this author.I remember when she first started the series and there were monsters and plots all over the place.The last book was 800 pages of sex, most of it repetitive acts of fellatio from the main female characters point of view with 69 pages of plot 899 pages of imaging you are going down on someone, only the men change.This book was 482 pages of fellatio with no plot, and the people being fellated were talking about their goddamn insecurities the whole time.I am not against fellatio at all I am not again erotic writing My first novel, unpublished, written while I was in college, was an erotic story about werewolves that had so much sexual content it grew into a full novel.But I would not try to pass it off as fantasy, and I have been very honest about the fact that my published novel is fantasy erotica.Something that is 800 pages of sucking dick, is what I could buy at a pornography shop for two bucks, and in fact I have bought books like that Taming Katie hahahah and Hell s Bitch come to mind I guess what I am trying to say is that Laurell K Hamilton wither needs to find some personal satisfaction or start writing in another genre and stop wasting my time.And as a very small side note and maybe its something I am over sensitive about, though she expresses extreme tolerances of bisexuality in the men in her books, and I mean extreme, very homo erotic She has never had a female character who s reaction to being with other women isn t nauseating I think its bad form not to at least imagine both sides After all it s one of your characters not yourself if you don t swing that way As a bi sexual woman, its a huge turn off to read a book where you get the feeling the author would throw up on you if she met you, and not feel bad about it I am very disappointed in this book Why does every female writer I like go nuts It s like watching the Anne Rice down fall over again, only over books.


  3. says:

    You know when you are reading a book series and then there is a really bad book in there, but you keep reading because you think it might get better again Well, that doesn t happen here It is obvious that there is no hope for this series to become what it started as.Anita is now a succubus which means she needs to have constant sex in order to survive Plot device to bring this series into the porn realm Yes Overly obvious indulgent bullshit that is clearly the author s fantasy of wanting to have the most beautiful men that ever exist all desiring her and willing to share her not to mention the blatant way that Richard has become her scapegoat for all of the anger she feels for her ex Yes.There is no actual plot in this book Anita is pregnant and there is a vampire ballet company coming into town That s it And yet the book is over 900 pages long At least 800 of those pages is Anita having sex with every single male she comes in contact with.Also, just like the book with the Mexican restaurant that was wrong, there is another blatantly wrong scene in this book Anita has an ultrasound to see if she is actually pregnant and the doctor runs the wand over her stomach Um, no That s not how it works at such an early stage of pregnancy First off, they have to use the wand that is inserted into your body Since the author has absolutely no qualms about writing about lady and men parts, she could have been accurate Secondly, a quick swipe with a wand over the stomach wouldn t be enough for a doctor to just say oh, never mind, not pregnant when a test said she was Doctors are weird about ultrasounds and always get a second opinion with conflicting results And, finally, she didn t even have to drink water first If there was some miracle ultrasound machine that could pick up her uterus over the stomach to check an early pregnancy, she would have had to have a full bladder to lift up the uterus for an ultrasound We, who have been there, are very familiar with seeing your first pictures of your baby while wishing we could just pee real quick It s the first painful joy of many with kids.Does all of that matter It wouldn t be a big deal if the author wasn t accurate in this stuff if she didn t get so freaking detailed in everything else She could have just said the ultrasound was done and came back negative, but she went into great detail of what happened in the doctor s office She also goes into great detail about what everyone is wearing for pages and pages She s a detail oriented writer And, that s fine but at least get your facts straight first I feel like this is the perfect timing for me to just walk away Goodbye Anita Have fun with the humping.


  4. says:

    Anita Blake Vampire Hunter and animator A love triangle doesn t even begin to explain the most interesting relationships that currently complicate her life.Cursed with the ardeur, Blake suffers through an existence as a succubus Sex to survive, sex and even sex Although, the sex has made the stories interesting, enough is enough I mean, c mon stop throwing her naked under random characters and slow things down a bit Anita has her sweeties, stop tossing spontaneous sex scenes What happened to the dripping brains and gruesome murder scenes I am a succubus I am a vampire Maybe not a bloodsucker, but I feed off sex It isn t just Damian s life that can get drained away if I don t feed Nathaniel will die I will die.As always, we have Richard, the Ulfric and leader of the local werewolf pack As I ve said before, I don t much care for his character I m sure that having a sad relationship that keeps popping up may be an interesting twist to the story, but I could live without it I love you, he said I love you, too, I said, and meant it I hate you, Anita, he said with almost no change in his voice I hate you, too, Richard, I said, and meant it.ALSO Richard has informed me he s shopping for his white picket fence.I m happy behind my black wrought iron fence The one with the pointy spikes on top White never really was my color.Everything is slammed upside down when Anita finds our she s pregnant Pregnant Wow Richard proposes, Doctor s force choking fear into Anita and her sweeties with possible horrible outcomes How the hell would a child fit in their lives There are some interesting and new political relationships formed in this book.The end of the book was rushed I love the scene with Asher, but what happened to everyone else All in all, I really enjoyed this book The surprising twists in the book make for an excellent read Not one of her best books in this series, but definitely in the top 10.I recommend this book to everyone that is reading this series Make sure to read the books in sequence.Extreme sexual content Mild to moderate violence Some disturbing scenes that totally rock but may be sickening to others I do NOT recommend this book or ANY books that follow in this series to children OR immature adults Here on out, every book is for adults only Happy reading


  5. says:

    Really enjoy Laurel K Hamilton and the Anita Blake series That being said, I really enjoyed the first few books in the series because they were all about kick ass chick and a sorta interesting kinda mystery thriller conundrum with some hot steamy scenes in the middle This past book and the few before it seem to be all hot and steamy and very little advancement of the story I still like Hamilton, but I enjoyed her older stuff much .


  6. says:

    No amount of ridiculously reasoned hardcore porn is worth this If you want to read someone s repetitive, repetitive, repetitive Mary Sue fantasy about legions of perfect, beautiful, smart, powerful, perfect men either fighting over or adoring, but all fucking, one insecure, shallow, selfish dumbass character, this book is for you If you don t demand a storyline to prop up the epic and imminently selfishly immature and needy fantasies of not one but ten Twilight twihards distilled and poured into one vessel, this book is for you If you have a love of mind rapingly tedious domestic disputes occurring every 2 pages for 20 pages thereafter, this book is for you And if you have no sense of intellectual self preservation, there s about twenty of these fucking books, all about exactly the same thing some woman who has to have sex or everyone will die every day.But it s not weird, even when she has sex with the shapechanger in cat form, because she loves them all vewy, vewy much each in a different of course you re not my slave kind of way, and they re all like a family It reminds me of the documentary about the porn industry I saw where one of the spokespeople said, We re all a big family , directly before anyone with an STD or HIV as a result of that same industry was immediately forgotten and shunned.Oh, and if you like magical shit than supernatural shit, this storyline annoying Mary Sue who just wants to be loved who has to have sex all the time with different men whom she all loves and they all adore her or else can be found in faerie form in the other series by the same author.Get ready to kiss your standards goodbye.


  7. says:

    This book is a good explanation as to why this book series hasn t been picked up for television or the big screen Could you imagine sitting through 1 to 2 hours of a movie or show watching a room packed full of characters dramatically staring at each other, clutching each other, spontaneous fainting, collapsing, gasping and shuddering in a very mellow dramatic way with very little duologue All with nothing actually going on Yeah, neither can I And when there is dialog, the characters banter back and fourth verbally beating the most minuscule theories and details of their romantic life to death Past pages upon pages of the uncomfortable and boring bouts of ripples of power scenes that infest the book Hamilton putties the cracks of her book with pages upon pages of pointless and mindless blow jobs, dry humping and Anita donating blood every few chapters The sex So disappointing It s meaningless and anti climactic No thrill of the hunt, no pining or hoping, feeding your imagination or build up It would be nice if we could see Anita having real sex because she wants to not just randomly doing it with every anyone who crosses her path because she has to take one for the team I wish Hamilton would just let Anita want to have sex, not be forced into a situation where she has to do it The idea of the adure could actually be a really fun fantasy but it s just over kill and redundant now This book definitely drove that feeling home for me Another thing that bothers me is that Hamilton has really ruined Jean Claude among others for me in this book He was dark, powerful, unpredictable, mysterious, masculine with that hint of femininity that is attractive Now he comes off in his relationship with Anita as weak, complacent, transparent, predictable, feminine and boring Part of what made his relationship to Anita attractive to me as a reader was the tension, danger and mystery Besides Nathaniel, I could go on for pages about how I just don t like most of the characters in these books any.Basically, I ll keep reading the series mostly because I can finish a book in 1 2 days no matter how horrible so I at least don t waste a month of my time reading this crap in hopes I get a glimpse of what I enjoyed about these stories at one time But at the same time, I ll never read the books again and I m happy I m getting them from the library so they don t take up space on my book shelf.


  8. says:

    I have been a long time fan of Laurell K Hamilton s Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series I have reread the books Guilty Pleasures through Obsidian Butterfly many times But this book, as with the last one, I doubt I will reread This one didn t even have a plot and the plot in the last book was thin Each book I hang hoping and waiting to see if the entertaining characters that the beginning books had will show back up And if the tough compassionate Anita will be present But they aren t there I used to read her books in one eveningnot able to put them down And now this book took me 3 months to get through as it just didn t grab me Because I couldn t figure out when the plot would kick in Even the in last chapter I kept hoping that something would come tying it all together to make sense but it didn t happen.Overall the book.is badly written porn type sex It isn t even erotic or good porn sex I would like to count how many pages actually don t deal with sex the act or just the characters discussing sex because I would be surprised it it was then 10 pages out of 483 One chapter might be a page an half and all that just having sex Now I love sex But the plot of the book, the premise of the book and what made them entertaining was Anita Blake VAMPIRE HUNTER I loved the chemistry of her and Jean Claude at the beginning but now Jean Claude hardly says anything interesting.The title of this book came from a dance troop that is coming to town The dance troop doesn t even show up until the last 80 pages and again very weak and sex of course.Soif you haven t read it and are a fan of this series do know you might be bored by it I did hear her next book is going to have Edward back in it and some other characters from the past So that might be interestingcrossing fingers If you enjoy stories about Vampires and werewolves, please pick up the the early books and you enjoy the stories.EDIT August 2012 I reread this book for the first time since I first read it in 2007 I wanted to reread the whole series as I was behind on reading Hamilton s last 3 books in this series So I thought what the heck give it another shot I will say I am upping this from 1 star to 2 stars Because I guess going in knowing I didn t like the first time gave me the permission to let go and be okay with not liking it But instead I went from total hating the book to being okay I still stand by everything I said in my above original review The sex gets just very boring and annoying as time goes on and this book has a lot of it in it I feel the book lacks everything that I love about the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter books.


  9. says:

    I hungrily devoured the first several books in this series they were the ultimate guilty pleasure An ass kicking heroine, lots of steamy sensuality, death defying acts, moral dilemmas, and plenty of supernatural beings to go around Starting around book 10, the series started to choke, like a car with electrical problems It was unclear if Ms Hamilton had lost her direction where Anita Blake was concerned, or if she d never really had one to begin with Danse Macabre descends to the level of boring porn, and I didn t even know there was such a thing I gave up after two hundred pages, bored nearly to tears by the lack of plot and the constant, very technical sex It wasn t even hot sex, which for me is like saying a knife fight wasn t an exciting knife fight It actually takes work to make sex not hot The entire plot centers around the idea that Anita Blake is compelled for supernatural reasons to have nearly constant sex And after spending a couple hundred pages reading about said sexual encounters, broken only by lengthy naked discussions about the supernatural reasons for needing to have constant sex, I decided I had exciting things to do, like cleaning the oven or rearranging my sock drawer.


  10. says:

    Not going to give a plot summary Yes there is a plot but no it is not about raising the dead or slaying vampires I think if you don t go into the book thinking that then you won t be disappointed This book is about vampire politics and Anita finding out about her powers I think this is a book that was supposed to be much longer and that the publisher split into two since Incubus Dreams was so long and people didn t like it This book is leading up to the party where all the Masters of the City come together I wouldn t be surprised if Belle or the Mother of All Darkness shows up again I think this book was done in order to build it all up I m hoping the next book will be the novella that Ms Hamilton keeps talking about with Edward I would recommend this one for true Blake fans so that you can see what powers she has gained or what the vampire political world is about Yes there is sex in it and yes it s not very good Yes there s a plot but it s continued in the next one It s just not the plot most wanted.